The final piece I’m presenting is my revision of my first full
essay done for this class. This essay was written in between the first two
pieces that are posted above, so it may not be up to par with the obsession
article, but the revision should have improved it. The main idea of the essay
was to write about a piece of advice that we either have received in the past,
read somewhere, or from Kurt Vonnegut’s “How to write with style.” “Keep it
simple” was the piece of advice I chose from Vonnegut’s article. When I reread
my essay as I was starting the revision process, I tried to focus less on
rehashing Vonnegut’s article and more on what his advice meant to me. I tried
to go in deeper and give more specific examples of what I was taught in the
past going up against Vonnegut’s advice. I also cut out what I felt was being repeated
multiple times throughout the essay or if something seemed a little redundant.
While I think my original essay was nicely written, the revised version
improves it in absolutely every way possible.
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